It was a warm, sunny May morning and my Grandmother had just brought me a cup of tea into my bedroom.
She wasn't usually this kind to me, but as my Mother had died only three weeks previoulsy i guess she had a tiny feeling of kindness towards me.
Also the fact she was reliqishing her duty onto a younger member of the family miles away across the river Mersey on Wirral seemed to have put a spring into her step.
Of course she was upset when my Mother died, she even put her arm around me ather funeral, but I quickly slid away from her touch.
She niether liked me nor my Mother, we simply were'nt good enough in her eyes. So my Mother worked part-time to pay for our keep. I never knew what happened to my Father, people simply did'nt mention him or how we came to live with this woman.
There was a massive hole in my heart which had once been filled by my Mother. I felt cold and heavy that morning as i sipped at the tea knowing that void could never be filled. I would never experience the warmth of her love as she folded her arms around me. Although on this particular day I was somewhat distracted. I was going to take the Ferry to Wirral to meet my new guardians, my stomach filled with butterflies at the very thought of this.

I sat thinking about all the hours spent alone in that room while my Mother worked in those freezing offices overlooking the ferry, no wonder she died of pnuemonia.

We took the bus to the ferry terminal, which was quite a journey, but one I had taken happily next to my Mother. When we arrived at the pierhead it was sunny but windy and I held tight hold of my suitcase. All i owned in the world was inside that case.

I enjoyed the warm breeze across my face, blowing my hair in all diresctions. The seagulls singing, noiseily overhead. We marched quickly down the jetty as it swayed beneath our feet. When we reached the ferry my Grandmother pushed a ticket into my pocket telling me not to lose it. Then she informed me that i should go aboard as the ferry was due to sail very soon. I was told i would be met on the other side by a tall dark man who would recognise me and to give him this note, which she also forced inside my pocket. She bent down and gave me a peck on the cheek, cold and detached. Then she turned and walked away from me.

I stood for a moment not quite sure what to do, the ground below was still moving and my stomach was full of battery acid with fear of what was to come.
The ferry bumped hard against the huge rubber tyres and the ropes creeked and groaned with the strain of the pull. People walked past me along a rickerty wooden walk way with chains to steady themselves.
I just stood there watching.
One of the crew shouted " come on love, she's quite safe"
I looked around, there was nobodt there, he must be talking to me.
The next moment he was by my side picking up my suitcase and holding my hand we walked acroos the wooden walkway. He was a tall man with a shaved head a thick navy jumper and short stubby tattooed hands, so gentle in comparison to my Grandmother's.
"You just sit in there love and we'llbe on our way before you know it"
I did as I was told and like a rabbit in the headlights I froze when the engines started up. So loud, it felt as though the river was erupting and the smell was awful and choking.